As you get older, you think you know a lot about basic things, but this isn’t always the case; and it always surprises me to discover something completely new. Take, for example, shaving.

Up until I was 32, I thought I knew all there was to know about shaving – how to go with the grain, prepare properly and use sharp blades. However, my knowledge to that point was such that when I cut myself, the only way I knew how to stop the bleeding was to place tissue paper on the cut. It made me look like Norman Gunston for most of the day, but it worked.

Well, when I was 32 someone finally put me out of my misery and introduced me to Styptic – a solution you can buy at any chemist that helps stop the bleeding immediately. You might think that’s basic, but at the time, for me, it was quite revolutionary.

Fast forward now to 43 and I’ve had a similar ‘revolutionary’ experience. I would have thought by now I was well versed in all there is to know about sexuality and my erotic nature, having explored most of the various sexual genres from straight, gay, vanilla, leather, S&M and the like – but I was wrong.

I also thought that, with the various personal development courses I’ve undertaken over the years, I had sufficiently integrated my physical, intellectual and spiritual self – even though this is always an ongoing process. Yet again I was wrong.

It turns out there’s “Secret Men’s Business” which most of us men don’t know about.

Earlier this year my partner and I were looking through the New Mardi Gras Event Guide and came across a weekend retreat called ‘Celebrating the Body Electric’. The name itself was interesting enough, but as we read on, we were intrigued.

After making further enquiries, we received a brochure in the mail. This attempted to explain what the weekend was about: “Celebrating the Body Electric teaches men how to connect with deeper centres of pleasure in their bodies.” It goes on to explain “through stretching, breathing and touching, men learn how to awaken and sustain full-body erotic energy.”

The brochure gets even more intriguing as it explains that it “is designed for pioneering men who are willing to touch and be touched by other men.” Further, “it is a clothes-off workshop for those who are ready to explore new levels of feeling, both within themselves and within a community of men.”

Okay, so it’s clearly ‘out-there’.

After discussing what all this might mean – even the (snigger) “is it just the sex weekend” that it sounds like – my partner and I decided to enrol. I always believe that you’ll never grow, unless you give it a go, so we signed up for the weekend.

It’s usually the case that these events are never what you imagine, and it is true in this instance as well. So while I might begin to describe what was a truly extraordinary weekend, remember that until you experience it yourself, your imagination will be deceiving you.

Our weekend started when we agreed to provide a lift to the Blue Mountains for one of the other participants. As we met on the Friday afternoon we were like three school boys going away for a naughty weekend. How wrong we were.

The first thing to strike me on our arrival at the Retreat was the wonderful grounds with which the weekend was held. Set amongst mountain eucalypts, with minimal, but comfortable accommodation, we were settled in by the friendly assistants there to help ensure we got the most out of the weekend and to alleviate any concerns we might have.

What transpired over the next 48 hours was nothing less than incredible. It certainly wasn’t what we expected. From the first evening, when we met this then unknown group of 30 men – all different, singles and couples, from all round the world (Australia, Brazil, Thailand, New Zealand, USA, South Africa, Belgium), with ages ranging from 25 to 60 – it was a fascinating exercise in learning about an innate part of our being as to defy description.

The title of this article says it all. Over the weekend we learnt some ‘secret men’s business’, that I would never have thought existed, let alone possible. Through a series of well choreographed exercises we learnt how to explore our erotic natures and integrate this with our physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual selves. All within a safe environment, with other men going through the same experience.

It wasn’t the orgy we’d joked about, and it didn’t involve sex – in fact you’re asked not to cum for two days before the weekend and during it. However I did explore my erotic nature like never before and discovered depths of character which I didn’t know existed. It was like looking into a well and seeing beneath the surface for the first time.

Some would say a weekend like this is not for them – and for some, this would be true. For most gay men, however, you would find it a truly liberating experience. You learn more about yourself than you knew possible, while also getting to meet some wonderful people.

There’s also a bonus from the weekend – you’ll learn to be a better lover.