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Intimacy: Lowering the Walls |
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Written by John R. Ballew, M.S., L.P.C.
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Opening yourself to what you are feeling is an important first step towards increasing your capacity for intimacy. Take a breath. Notice what you are feeling in the moment. Learn to recognize the sensations, including the bodily sensations, which accompany emotions. Shallow breathing may indicate anxiety, for instance. In fact, psychotherapist Fritz Perls called anxiety “excitement without the breath.”
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Low Sex Drive |
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Written by John R. Ballew, M.S., L.P.C.
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Men are supposed to
want sex all the time, right?
That’s what a lot of men believe. The idea
starts at puberty with talking about sex in high school locker rooms. It
continues later in life when we come out and start exploring gay culture, which
looks like a big sex party to a lot of men. Gay, bi or straight, men are
all about sex, all the time. As one authority on male sexuality has put
it, the myth is that men are supposed to be “two feet long, hard as steel and
able to go all night.”
Does that describe
you? Maybe not. What if you enjoy sex…but not as much as everyone
else around you seems to enjoy it? If your sex drive is lower than
average, you may wonder what is wrong with you.
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Intimacy, Vulnerability and Commitment |
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Written by John R Ballew, M.S., L.P.C.
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Intimate relationships come in many
flavours: dinner-and-a-movie dates that develop slowly into something
else, dating one guy exclusively and becoming boyfriends, establishing
something more permanent, perhaps as lovers or husbands or partners. Some
relationships evolve hastily; others take time. Some men are comfortable
“playing the field,” while others move so quickly to stake a claim on a
boyfriend’s affections that it feels like a return to California Gold Rush
days.
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Retreat Yourself |
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Written by Quaetapo
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As the car begins its ascent along the mountain road, the
smell of the Redwoods and the surrounding forest become fresh and inviting. The
beginning of another Body Electric journey begins and I’m feeling keen yet slightly
apprehensive. As we arrive at Wildwood Retreat, set high on a mountain top in
northern California, we are greeted by the sounds of arrival as cars are
unpacked, men splash in the pool and the shouts of recognition as men call out to
each other.
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Walls, Emotions and Intimacy |
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Written by John R. Ballew, M.S., L.P.C
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Many
of us talk about wanting more intimacy in our lives. We aren’t very certain
about how to get what we want, though. And sometimes it seems like we just when
we are closest to getting what we desire, we somehow sabotage or thwart
ourselves. What gives?
Intimacy has been called an “unarmed
encounter between two vulnerable individuals.” Allowing ourselves to become
vulnerable isn’t easy; vulnerability implies that we might get hurt. No one
wants to get hurt. Little boys learn quickly that getting hurt not only
hurts, but that it isn’t very
manly to show your pain. We then start the process of building walls that keep
us from experiencing what seems like not only pain, but also humiliation.
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