As the car begins its ascent along the mountain road, the smell of the Redwoods and the surrounding forest become fresh and inviting. The beginning of another Body Electric journey begins and I’m feeling keen yet slightly apprehensive. As we arrive at Wildwood Retreat, set high on a mountain top in northern California, we are greeted by the sounds of arrival as cars are unpacked, men splash in the pool and the shouts of recognition as men call out to each other.

Many of us talk about wanting more intimacy in our lives.  We aren’t very certain about how to get what we want, though.  And sometimes it seems like we just when we are closest to getting what we desire, we somehow sabotage or thwart ourselves.  What gives? 

Intimacy has been called an “unarmed encounter between two vulnerable individuals.”  Allowing ourselves to become vulnerable isn’t easy; vulnerability implies that we might get hurt.  No one wants to get hurt.  Little boys learn quickly that getting hurt not only hurts, but that it isn’t very manly to show your pain.  We then start the process of building walls that keep us from experiencing what seems like not only pain, but also humiliation.

“Older” is one of those words that makes us ambivalent.  To apply the word to someone else feels a little rude.  To apply it to ourselves makes us swallow hard!  We may have spent the first couple of decades of life looking forward to the rewards that getting older would bring us – being old enough to drive, vote or drink – but after that, the rewards seem a lot more abstract. 

Let’s start out with the obvious:  getting older sure as hell beats the alternative.  The only way to avoid aging is to die young, and that’s an awfully high price to pay.  And aging is relative. You and I have both been doing it since the day we took that first breath, but getting older isn’t a cause for concern when we’re young; we’re more worried about when our skin will clear up.